Because You Owe Me
by icallmyselfSlothforareason
Summary: I glare at Mudon, the Dorwinion Elf, "Why do I have to aid you on this perilous quest? According to the West, I am an Easterling! I go West, I die." He chuckles and waves me off dismissively, "I can reassure you that you will not perish. To answer your question, you must accompany me because you owe me." Smug Elf. I hear Gorgash the Old speak up, "He's right, tarka." I groan.


A/N: This is going to be post Fellowship quest. Fourth Age, I believe... I'm not a die-hard Tolkien _Lord of the Rings_ fan, so chill. Don't kill me. This is just _fan-fiction_. And not many know what really goes on in the Fourth Age other than the West battles the East to eliminate the remaining forces of Sauron's allies/followers.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tolkien's works.

* * *

My bladder is full. But my bed is nice and warm. And I'm tired.

No, I am not stupid. If I hold in the urine, I'll lose proper bladder control when I'm older and senile, and I'll get UTI and infected kidneys. Do not want.

I grumble and get out of bed. I put on my house slippers, pull on my sweatpants, and slip on my black, plush jacket. I zip up the jacket and open my bedroom door.

Warmth and sunlight blast through the door. I squint my eyes at the sight of green. Green shrubbery, green trees, and green grass. I slam my bedroom door shut. My heart is pounding. I grip my hair close to the roots as I hold my head and turn away from the door. I whisper to myself, "What the fuck?"

I look at my bedroom window. The blinds are shut. I rush to my window and open the blinds. The weather is cloudy. Winter in southern California is (mid-40s to high 60s degrees Fahrenheit) cold, cloudy, and slight chance of rain like it is supposed to. SoCal's winter weather is normal, for once, in my lifetime. It was normal in the past and when my parents were in their twenties. It was normal weather for my parents, but for _me_, it is frikken amazing! Finally, I got the chance to use the duvet! And I can wear my sweatpants, sweaters, and boots!

_This_! _This_ is home. Even though I am living with my parents in a 2-bedroom and 1-bath second-floor apartment.

The apartment area consists of two-story buildings, and the little area is closed by gates. It is a quiet area. Relatively safe. _This_ is what I enjoy. Normal.

_Not_ whatever in God's name that I just witnessed! I renounced religion, but that was fucking unholy!

No way is it ever possible for my door to open to the outdoors of God knows where from a second-floor apartment!

I look at the bedroom door. No light shining through from the cracks or under the door.

The hall light is not on. It is, typically, dark in the apartment because the living room blinds are shut. The door is supposed to open to the little hallway. At the end of the hall is my parents' bedroom. The bathroom is on their side. I have to walk to get to the bathroom because that's what happens when you don't have the master bedroom. But, I am _scared_.

What if my door is still acting like a portal?

And, I _still_ need to pee! But, I am scared! What if the door is still a portal? Say that I say, "Fuck it," and I do the squat and piss in nearby bushes to my bedroom door. Now, say that I go to return to my bedroom door only to find the door no longer there.

But I really need to pee! I grab my glasses (nearsighted vision sucks ass) from my desk, and I pace a bit. I put my glasses on.

If I go through the door, I may never go home. No Wifi, no memes. Also, my best friend needs my character reference letter to help her in her child custody battle and keep her ex from taking her baby. And she needs me as witness at the court. (It is a long story.) _And_, I have college to worry about. It's my second year of college. But most importantly, I will be missing from family. No more parents, and no more of my sweet bird-boi Marshmallow. I am going to miss my pet Lutino cockatiel the most. Sadly.

Okay! I _really_ need to pee!

I go to the door that leads to the hallway. I grip the cold, metal knob and silently beg in a little chant of "Please be normal." I turn the knob, and it is still blasting warmth and sunlight and nature. I screech, "Goddammit!" My bladder is full. "Fuck it!"

I was thinking of using one of the empty reusable bottles I keep in my closet. I was thinking of using a piss bottle, but I am _not_ an animal! Correction, animals don't do that. They just piss wherever they want!

Why aren't there nearby shrubs?! Even a tree will do!

I enter a grove with shrubbery. I push down my sweatpants to my knees, and I Asian squat. I sigh with relief. My bladder and kidneys are probably thanking me. Nah, they would probably be saying, "Bitch, what took you so long?!"

Sweet relief.

When I finish, I get up, pulling my pants up, and I see an armored blond man. He sees me. I know because we are making direct eye contact. Blue eyes meet my chinky, brown irises. I turn my gaze elsewhere, pretending I didn't see him and hoping he will act the same, and tightly tie the strings of my sweatpants.

I start walking away. I hear him following me. This is bad. Can I outrun him? Wait a minute! He's wearing armor! Pshaw! I'm fine! I can outrun him. Eheheheh.

I walk faster. I hear him pick up his pace. _Oh no_. I start jogging. He's jogging, too! I reach the open space, and I sprint. I hear his frikken armor! He's sprinting, too! WHAT THE FUCK?

My legs start to burn, and I am getting overheated in my jacket! I can feel myself lose speed. I'm slowing down. I should have used the gym on campus or at least go jogging every weekday!

And my door is gone! I fucking knew it! I should have just peed on the grass near the door! Or better yet, I should have gone with the piss bottle idea!

I yelp, jump, and fall on my side. Frikken sediment! Pebbles! My slippers flew off my feet in my tumble, and they fall on me. I spit out the dirt and dust, and I sputter. Why didn't I grab my boots from my bedroom closet?

From behind, a figure blocks out the sun and casts a shadow over me.

I turn and look up. It's the man. I give a weak, nervous smile and an awkward shrug. "Lovely weather today, am I right?"


End file.
